When You Believe…

sem·i·co·lon

ˈsemēˌkōlən,ˈsemīˌkōlən/

noun

a punctuation mark (;) indicating a pause, typically between two main clauses, that is more pronounced than that indicated by a comma.

Every tattoo on my body has some personal meaning to it. This is a marking that, unless I have it covered, I will bear for the rest of my life as a message to the world as to what I am about or was going through at the time. This is my newest addition.

As an mental health advocate and survivor of suicidal thoughts and depression I chose the word believe with a semicolon replacing the letter ‘i’.

This tattoo encourages me to bel;eve that things will be better and that this is not the end of my journey.

It’s one thing to just say aloud or to myself that even though times are hard that they will be better and things will be okay. It’s a total difference when you actually bel;eve that things will be better or different.

The bel;ef in a better way is what makes it happen. When you truly bel;eve that you will be okay, you will be. You have to bel;eve.

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Hindsight is 20/20

No ragretsI am constantly looking back at situations and seeing how I could have done things differently.  Even when the outcome is successful I can look back and see where things could have been changed.  The problem is that in life we don’t get very many do overs.  You get that one shot to make it work and that’s it. While I’d love to do my best Marty McFly impression, I can’t change the past. What’s done is now done.

I think that in hindsight I would do a number of things differently. That doesn’t necessarily make things any better or worse but I would do them differently. I wouldn’t have said something that caused that person to walk away or eaten that last slice of pizza that probably gave me heartburn.  I’m always second guessing myself. Even though I know and acknowledge that things happen for a reason, whether I understand that reasoning or not, I still think that I could somehow cause a different outcome by just changing the slightest of things. that stupid butterfly effect.