The Four Agreements

So I just finished reading a book titled The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. This is a fascinating book. It is basically a self help book that will have you reevaluate the way you think about what you say and how you deal with people as well as how you deal with what people say and do to you.

The four agreements are as follows:
1. Be impeccable with your words – nobody likes a Chatty Patty or Gossip Gary. Words really do have meaning. This is not the typical stick to your promises but rather your words have meaning and power. If you say someone is sounding stupid they will perceive that they are stupid but if you say what they are saying doesn’t make sense they may perceive that there is merely a misunderstanding and may look for a different way to explain things. Words mean things.

2. Don’t take things personally – people will project their evil or bad will onto you. That doesn’t mean that they really feel that way. A perfect example in the book was of a mother that came home from a stressful day at work with a major headache. Her young daughter was unaware of how her mother felt and was singing and dancing around and having a great time. It gets to a point where her mother can’t take it anymore and tells her to stop and that she has an ugly voice. She doesn’t really mean this but words mean things. Her daughter subsequently never sings again and becomes withdrawn and shy around people. She took it personally. When people do mean things it is a way of deflecting the evil off of them and on to you. Don’t let this affect you.

3. Don’t assume anything – when you assume things you are more than likely going to be wrong. Instead of guessing whether or not people understand you, make sure that they do.

4. Do your best – whatever your best is just do your best no more no less.

The toughest thing is to try and apply these agreements to your everyday life. Remember that if you fail at one of the agreements just start over. We all fall short at some point. The strength is in how we adapt to that setback and move forward.

This is a great book and I would definitely recommend checking it out.

Meeting My Goals

I’ve failed on so many levels so many times, yet I’m still here. There have been times when I wanted to quit and just give up but for some reason I just kept moving. Slowly but surely things got better and I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am a very impatient person and I am quick to stop doing things when they don’t work out like I want. This has plagued me in many areas of my life from personal to business relationships. I am still working on this aspect but at least I know that it is a fault that I have and something that needs to change within me.

This is a transition year for me and I am determined to end it better than I did last year. I will accomplish the goals that I have set forth. I can no longer just rest on my laurels and say ‘oh well’ if I don’t reach my set goal. Starting off with simple attainable short terms goals and working my way to bigger long term goals. Once I get the smaller goals under my belt it will give me the confidence to achieve the bigger goals.

I am still a work in progress and I know that I will slip up now and again but overall I know that I am better this year than I was last. Today will be better than yesterday.

American Crime

So there is a new show on ABC named American Crime. It comes on Thursday night right after Scandal. It’s the replacement for How To Get Away With Murder until it comes back next season.

The show is centered around the killing and alleged rape of this married couple. They follow the lives of everyone involved from the parents of the murdered son and hospitalized wife to the family and lives of the suspects involved. This show is a good look at race relations and how people view each other based not only on race but class as well.

The only issue I have with the show is how slow the pace is.  It may be the ADHD in me but I have a hard time concentrating on what is going on. I get bored quickly and begin doing other things leaving the show to be background noise, but the pace is so slow that when I do look up and pay attention I feel like I haven’t missed a thing.

Has Scandal Lost Its Appeal?

I admit that I wasn’t the biggest scandal fan from day one. I was what you would call a social watcher, similar to a social drinker, I just watched because everyone else was and so I could join in the conversation.  The show never really resonated with me because it seemed to glorify the mistress role a little too much for my liking.  I would watch it because it was fun to interact with people via social media during the show. If I watched it alone it was rather boring. Just my opinion.

Here’s the thing that I noticed. The show isn’t as popular as it used to be. I think that when they flipped the storyline from fixing scandals as the main theme and the affair as secondary to the affair being the main thing and fixing scandals as secondary that probably turned a number of viewers off. Me being one of them. The show just seemed a bit more interesting when she was solving cases for people and not being all kissy face with the president or having this love triangle with him and one of his friends.

Ever since Fox’s new show Empire came out, it seems interest in talking about Scandal has dropped off a bit. Even though Empire comes on Wednesday nights and Scandal comes on Thursday, I noticed that Friday when we are typically talking about what happened on Scandal we’re still talking about Empire.

What can Scandal do to turn things around? Go back to fixing scandals. Leave all that lovey dovey love triangle stuff to the soaps.

Don’t Count My Calories

I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I’m sure this has happened to anyone with dietary restrictions or medical conditions that cause them to count calories or carbs or only allows them to eat certain foods. Stop counting my calories!!

I am a type 1 diabetic so I have to inject myself with insulin to stay alive. Unlike type 2 diabetes this is a genetic disorder that causes my pancreas to fail to produce enough insulin for my body. Since I have to inject myself with insulin I have yo watch what I eat and count carbs. The reason I count carbs is because the amount of medication I give myself is based on the amount of carbs I ingest.

Here’s the issue. There are people that don’t understand and then try and tell me what I can and cannot eat. If you are not a registered dietician with access to that person’s chart and eating habits please don’t tell them what they can and cannot eat. This drives people crazy.

I know that you think that you are helping but what you’re really doing is backseat driving and trying to give the drive directions in a city that you’ve never been in. That is so aggravating and frustrating. You are not helping.

Everything isn’t for everybody

Most of the time when I say this people think that I’m mean or disrespectful. I’m not trying to be this way and I’m truly coming from a good place. I want everyone to succeed and make it at whatever they want to do but sometimes what you’re doing is not really what you’re good at.

I’m sure everyone knows of that person that tries to do something that they just aren’t equipped for. If you don’t, most likely that person is probably you. Everyone knows someone like that. Perfect example is the singer in the church choir that sounds horrible but people applaud and appease them because they are “giving their best for God”. I totally disagree with this notion. They are not doing their best for God and could actually be doing something else. While they may be the worst singer they are one of the nicest people you would ever meet and would be a great greeter or usher. Their talent is in greeting and making people feel welcome not in trying to sing when everybody knows they sound like a cat having its tail stretched while being dumped in water.

Everyone has a talent. It is when you try to force something that is not your talent or gift that things fall apart. The key is to find your individual talent and not try and force a skill that you don’t have. If you just stick to what you do best you will have an easier and better time.

People will often try really hard to continue doing something that they totally suck at instead of enjoying themselves while doing something that they are great at doing. Your destiny may be to be the next great interior designer but you missed out on your opportunity because you were too busy chasing dreams of being the next Betty Crocker. Get your head in the game and analyze what you are good at and what you are bad at and do the good better but don’t let the bad get worse. Okay? Okay.

Selma – Review B+

I have finally been able to see Selma. I know I’m really late but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I saw it. I think that Selma was a really great film. Well written and directed. The pace of the film seemed right on pace. I’ve heard people say that it was too slow and some to say it seemed rushed but I feel like it was just right. I think that there were a few historical inaccuracies but this is a drama that is ‘based on a true story’ and not a documentary. Some liberties are to be expected.

Overall this was a great historical film and a must see. I give it a B+.